Monday, January 26, 2015

the one where the end was the beginning

Remember in my last post when I said, "It has been a whirlwind of a 'two weeks,' my friends"? Well. That was precious.

In the six days since, it seems a million new things have entered our lives. Most of all, we had our appraisal on Thursday morning and lost our buyer on Friday morning. (Not because of the appraisal. We're not really sure why.) The end.

I mean, not really, but sort of. We're back to square one, which, oddly enough, was a place we were totally content with being just 3 weeks ago. I keep trying to remind myself of that contentment.

At the beginning of the year, my BFF, Laura, shared that she was going to do Beth Moore's scripture memory challenge and that I should join her. So I did! The basic concept is to memorize 2 new verses a month -- 24 total for the year. You pick whichever scripture you want and enter it on Beth Moore's blog on the 1st and 15th of each month. Next January, there will be a celebration for those who complete the challenge, and we plan to go! :) 

SO my first verse to memorize was 2 Corinthians 12:9...

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

I cannot tell you how many times this verse has come into play since January 1st. It's unbelievable, really. I mean, I can start with the obvious -- "My grace is sufficient." Sufficient. As in, all I could possibly need. No beautiful new house could fill us in the same way. No relationships (sorry, friends). No amount of financial security. No job. No perfectly behaved children. Nothing. Not that these things aren't noble pursuits. But they cannot be THE pursuit. Not one of those things will ultimately satisfy.

And then there's THE WEAKNESS. You know my weakness? "Trust and obey." Control. Structure. Order. Providing these things for my kids. So here I am -- trying to boast in my weakness. This part has really stuck out to me. I need you to know that I am SO NOT CAPABLE of trusting and obeying -- of letting go of control completely. This struggle is oh-so-real in my life. It is my weakness. THEREFORE, I will boast in it so that His power can fill those places and be sufficient. 

I know the things in our life right now are insignificant compared to the struggles of many. I promise I know that. But it feels a bit chaotic for my need-to-control self. Vulnerable. So I'm trying to keep it all in perspective and allow Him to do that for me. I heard this song on the radio last Wednesday and it just overwhelmed me. I first thought of 3 friends, specifically, in 3 very different situations who just weighed heavy on my heart when I heard it. But I've been listening to it over and over and feel I probably needed to hear it, too. It speaks of the "glorious unfolding" that will come if we wait and see what God has for us. I love it. And I can't wait to see what unfolds for us.

If you can't see the video, go here --->

The song is "Glorious Unfolding" by Steven Curtis Chapman. So good.

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